She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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