She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
