Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
