found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
