We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize