omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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