all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
