you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
