After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
