Christians are straight up FREAKS
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
