i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
God, I missed his penis.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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