i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
