who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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