piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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