did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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