just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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