Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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