hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
