A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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