the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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