Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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