Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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