Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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