just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
