We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No more Irish car bombs ever.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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