Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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