i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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