Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I wear drunk well.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
