dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
