Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize