The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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