what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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