I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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