I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
