I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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