some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
