He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
