i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
