Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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