You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize