you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
