She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
