check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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