i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Still dying that you shit outside
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
