So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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