I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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