She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
