So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
3pm strippers are depressing
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
