she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
