i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
