nut hugger
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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