I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
